So it’s a brand new year. Here’s a question to kick off 2016.

How’s your heart?

The heart is pretty vital. It’s what we live out of really; it’s the wellspring of life. Our hearts help us feel the highs and lows, navigate wonder and mystery, keep our imaginations stimulated and our dreams alive. It is the place where hope and faith live.

While I don’t know about you, I have found that the longer I live, the more intentional I have to be at keeping my heart open and fully alive.

I think that’s true for a lot of parents. When you’re in your twenties, your marriage is fresh, being a parent is cool. . .sort of, except for the sleepless nights. But you hit the wall of real life somewhere in your thirties or forties and a natural casualty is your heart.

For almost all of us, as time goes on something happens to your heart.

It gets hard.

You grow cynical.

It stops beating the way it used to.

Too many disappointments.

Too many people let you down.

Too many hopes dashed.

Too much fear that maybe your family isn’t turning out the way you once dreamed.

The signs of a hardened heart start subtly but eventually become hard to miss:

You don’t really celebrate and you don’t really cry.

You stop genuinely caring.

What used to be meaningful is now mechanical. Everything that used to be fun is now an obligation.

Passion is hard to come by. For anything. Including your marriage.

You no longer believe the best about people. Even when you meet someone, you’re thinking about what’s going to go wrong, not what’s going to go right.

So how do you get your heart beating again? Believe it or not, you can get your heart back in 2016. It will beat again.

Here are five ways to renew your heart:

1. Push past your feelings. Sure, there are seasons where what’s supposed to be meaningful feels mechanical. Do it anyway. Go to work. Kiss your spouse. Hang out with your kids. Read your Bible. Pray (even if you feel you’re talking to the ceiling). Just because you don’t feel like it’s real doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Eventually, your emotions will catch up to your obedience.

2. Get some rest. Fatigue and overwork can numb your heart. Sometimes I find my heart grows hard because I’m not resting. Get eight hours sleep for a week. Take a day off and do something you love—like going on a hike, exploring a city or reading a great book. Even God took a Sabbath. If you don’t take the Sabbath, the Sabbath will take you.

3. Don’t over-personalize your failures and successes. My kids remind me all the time that I can take things too personally. They’re right. If your life is going well, it might not be because you’re so awesome. And if things are sputtering, it might not be because your so incompetent. Take the long view.

4. Decide to trust, again. This one is huge. Because most of us are once-bitten, twice-shy, it’s so important to consciously re-engage your heart and trust people again. Someone may have hurt you, but not everyone will. Yes, you will be vulnerable, but trust again. God did. And still does. Jesus’ arms were wide open when he died, despite the pain of the wounds and the scars.

5. Fight isolation. Community is the problem for most of us (it’s hard to get hurt all by yourself). But community is also the solution. You will want to be alone. Don’t. Solitude is used by God. Isolation is used by the enemy. Talk to God. And talk to a friend. Find a mentor. Process privately while leading publicly. And yes, sometimes go see a counselor. My very first trip to a counselor over ten years ago happened because I realized my heart had gone hard. We were coming out of a very difficult time as a church and it really impacted my marriage. The counsellor’s help was providential. Time with a counselor is one of the reasons my heart still beats and can still leap and soar today.

So those are some ideas that can help you care for your own heart.

I don’t know which method for renewal resonated most with you, but I do know this:  your heart can become new again.

And one day, you’ll look back on this season when your kids were young and be so thankful you did what you needed to do to get your heart healthy again. It’s not just an investment in them—it’s an investment in you.

Carey Nieuwhof

Carey Nieuwhof is the lead pastor of Connexus Church and author of several books, including Parenting Beyond Your Capacity (with Reggie Joiner) and his forthcoming book, Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Will Help Your Church Grow (September 2015). Carey speaks to church leaders around the world about leadership and parenting. He writes one of the most widely read church leadership blogs at www.CareyNieuwhof.com and hosts the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast where he interviews top leaders each week.

I love Christmas decorations. They have a way of making everything more beautiful. Even the most humble of homes becomes a breathtaking site with just a few strands of twinkling lights.

Our family has accumulated quite the collection over the past 19 years. Every yard ornament and strand of garland has a story as to how it became a part of our family. The 9’ snowman in our front yard. The moving reindeer. The candy canes that won’t stay straight no matter how far we push them in the ground. Then there’s the ice sickle lights hanging on the house and the electric candles in the windows (one of which always has a burned out bulb). It’s not perfect, but somehow it all comes together to create something my kids look forward to every year.

Out of all our decorations, I do have a favorite. It’s my wooden nativity. I display it right inside our front door. I love the beauty in the smooth wood and how it reminds me daily what we are truly celebrating. The true story of profound love displayed through everyday people like you and me.

The Faith of young Mary, trusting in Gods plan.
The Obedience of Joseph, taking Mary as his wife.
The Truth of Jesus, the Son of God, coming to take His place in the world He created, among the people He would die for.
The Hospitality of the innkeeper.
The Humility of the stable.
The Praise of the angels.
The Joy of the shepherds.
The Seeking of the wise men.

Scripture being fulfilled in one holy night.

The nativity is a beautiful reminder of who God is and who He wants us to become. And even though December 26th marks the time when we begin rolling up the lights and putting away the nativity, it doesn’t mean we have to pack up Christmas. As parents, we have opportunities every day to lead the way and model for our children ways to keep the most beautiful parts of Christmas up all year long.

So yes, pack up Joseph, Mary, and the babe lying in a manger. Pack up the stable and the sheep, the angels, wise men and shepherd. But don’t pack up Christmas.

Keep Faith on display as you trust in God’s plan.
Keep Obedience to God’s Word, even when you don’t understand.
Keep your Belief in the truth of scripture alive, even when it doesn’t make sense.
Keep Hospitality active, as you open your home to others.
Keep Humility in every room of your home as you put others first.
Keep Praise on your lips, no matter your circumstance.
Keep Seeking God, in all you do.

We as parents have the opportunity every day to fill our homes with a Christ-like beauty and be the person we – and more importantly God – wants our kids to be. And you know they’re watching us, as if taking in every inch of a newly decorated house at Christmas. The good news is that no matter where you are in your parenting journey, even the most humble of homes can be a breathtaking site when we choose to not pack up Christmas, but rather live it out in our every day lives. It won’t be perfect, but somehow God will make it all come together to create something that will help your kids become the people God created them to be.

Autumn Ward has been a writer for The reThink Group’s First Look preschool curriculum for the past 10 years and is the Creative Director for Parent Cue Initiatives. She believes every parent can be a spiritual hero in their child’s life and it’s never too soon to begin sharing God’s story of love with them. Autumn and her husband, Chad, live in Cumming, GA with their three teenage children Joseph, Sarah, and Anna.